Ellie vs the Hair Gel
by ne71
Summary: Morgan asks Ellie for a big favor...
1. Chapter 1

_This is an old one, but I thought it might be fun to add a second chapter..._

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"Morgan, you have got to be kidding me."

Ellie stood with her hands on her hips, glaring down at Morgan's pleading face. He had cornered her in the hallway leading to the back of her apartment during a late night Scrabble marathon with the whole gang - Chuck and Sarah, Ellie and Devon, Anna and... Morgan.

"Ellie, I could not be more serious. I'm desperate. You're the only one who can help me, here." Morgan took a step forward, reaching to grasp Ellie's hands.

"No touching," Ellie sung out, wide eyed and glaring at the offending appendages. Morgan shrunk back immediately.

"Right, right. Forgot number one of Ellie's Golden Rules of Tolerating Morgan. 'Morgan shall not come into contact of any kind, express or implied, with Ellie.'" Morgan recited the rule as if it were the Pledge of Allegiance.

"I can't do what you're asking me to do. I won't."

"Ellie, listen to me. Anna's losing interest. I can tell. My rugged, devil-may-care, playboy lifestyle just isn't enough for her anymore."

"Morgan, I don't—"

Ellie's eyes narrowed. She looked for a sign that Morgan was making a joke, but couldn't find one.

"Rugged? Devil-may-care? Play--"

"She's a girl who loves her challenges, Elle Belle."

"No nicknames!"

"Right, right. Rule number four."

Anna approached them from behind. "Morgan, I'm going home."

Morgan whirled around to face Anna. "Oh! Uh, that's cool, baby. Let me just get my coat, I'll go with you."

Anna clearly seemed displeased with that prospect. "No, you can stay." She eyed Ellie suspiciously for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." Anna turned to leave.

"Maybe?" Morgan asked after her, taking a step in her direction. "I thought we were spending the day at the beach, sugar plum. I tweezed and everything." Morgan rubbed his chest. Ellie felt her stomach contract. Anna stopped, sighed dramatically, and turned again to face Morgan.

"We were. I'm going to shop for knee socks instead."

Ellie couldn't believe it. Morgan was actually right. Anna _was_ losing interest. And if Anna lost interest, then Morgan would turn his attention back to...

Ellie stepped up behind Morgan and crossed her hands over his chest. "That's okay..." She winced. "...tiger. Let her go."

Anna's eyes widened. Ellie leaned down and spoke in a loud whisper, directly into Morgan's ear. "I'll find something to distract you." Anna grit her teeth loud enough for Ellie to hear, and stepped up to Morgan. She took hold of his shirt with one hand and tugged him towards her, flicking Ellie's hands away with the other.

"On second thought," Anna said, looking directly at Ellie, "I think I'll stay. And the beach tomorrow sounds wonderful, baby."

Ellie gave Anna a sly look, and ran her fingers through Morgan's hair. "That's fine, sweetheart, but I should tell you," she leaned in over Morgan's shoulder, close to Anna's face. "I _am_ a doctor. The minute you break his heart, I'll be there to stitch it back together again."

Ellie straightened back up and Anna seethed. She finally looked back at Morgan. "Are you coming?"

Morgan cleared his throat. "I'll... uh... be right there, kewpie doll." Anna shot Ellie one last glare, and Ellie raised an eyebrow. Anna stomped back to the living room. Ellie started looking around for hand towels. What did Morgan put in his hair, anyway?

Morgan turned to face Ellie. "Wow. That was--"

"Please don't talk about it," Ellie whined. "Let's just never discuss it again, all right?"

Morgan nodded, but kept discussing it. "I do have to say, though; that was really amazing."

Ellie just nodded. There was hand sanitizer somewhere...

"In fact," Morgan continued, "I'd go so far as to say that it was a little too amazing, know what I mean?" He nodded his head at Ellie.

Ellie unconsciously shook her head in contrast to Morgan's nodding. "I don't."

Morgan shook his head and smiled. "Ellie. Come on. Admit it. There's a little part of you, buried deep down inside, that's not entirely opposed to the idea of you and me lighting the world on fire with our passion."

Ellie screamed as quietly as possible. "Morgan! No deluding yourself!"

Morgan snapped to attention. "Right, right. Rule number twenty three." He turned on his heel and stepped towards the living room, pausing for a moment at the end of the hall.

"Ellie," he said, gently.

Ellie sighed. "What?"

Morgan looked back over his shoulder at her. "Thank you."

Ellie's face softened into a slight smile. "You're welcome, Morgan." Morgan smiled back, and continued to the living room. Ellie rubbed her forehead, then looked down at her hand.

"Oh. Ew."


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, so it's not a continuation of the story per se, but I thought it'd be fun to write the actual rules out. _

_Anyone who would like to contribute to the list, you're welcome to send me a suggestion. _

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**Ellie's Golden Rules of Tolerating Morgan**

1. Morgan shall not come into contact of any kind, express or implied, with Ellie.

2. Ellie is neither required nor expected to converse with Morgan unless absolutely necessary.

3. In the event that Ellie chooses to converse with Morgan, the following subjects are off-limits: sandwiches, video games, the BuyMore, Morgan's undying love for Ellie, Comic-Con, beard trimmers, grape soda, and the vast government coverup responsible for the decrease in Cadbury Egg size.

4. No nicknames. Ever.

5. No staring.

6. Morgan shall not buy exact but smaller replicas of Ellie's outfits and then switch them with the originals in the hope that Ellie will not notice.

7. No innuendos.

8. Morgan shall not purposely bring himself into contact with allergic substances and then check himself into the E.R. during nights when Ellie is on duty.

9. In the event that Morgan does accidentally come into contact with an allergic substance and makes a legitimate trip to the E.R., Ellie may refuse treatment if the affected area is anywhere above the knee or below the navel.

10. Eating mystery crisper items does not qualify as "accidental contact."

11. No mix tapes.

12. The Morgan Door is the window in CHUCK'S room. No other window in Casa Bartowski may be interpreted as a Morgan Door.

13. No smelling of Ellie's hair.

14. Standing outside Ellie's window with a boom box blasting Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" is not romantic if you are Morgan.

15. Morgan shall not name any more of his goldfish "Ellie." It's sweet at first, then depressing when they die. As a sub rule, please remember to feed your goldfish.

16. Morgan relinquishes all rights to press charges when Ellie smacks him upside his head.

17. Morgan is prohibited from collecting strands of Ellie's hair and making dolls out of them.

18. Morgan's yearly Christmas hug is not to be interpreted as "second base."

19. No poetry. For the love of god, no poetry.

20. Morgan may not leave copies of "Teen Beat" magazine in Devon's nightstand in the hope that Ellie will find them and suspect that Devon is a homosexual.

21. While it is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, when Ellie allows Morgan at the dinner table she is not trying to seduce him.

22. No writing to Dear Abby about your unrequited love under the pen name "Sleepless in Santa Monica."

23. Morgan shall not delude himself into believing that Ellie secretly wants him bad.

24. See Rule #1. Keep reading.

Finding this list of rules and then using whiteout to edit the list does not change the actual rules themselves. I have many copies, and an excellent memory.


End file.
